


The Buddy System

by Hawkingjay



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, M/M, Panic Attacks, anger issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-25 15:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10766790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkingjay/pseuds/Hawkingjay
Summary: The school psychologist is incompetent, but forcing Evan and Connor to be friends has easily got to be her worst move, right?





	1. Anywhere else

It was an open secret that the guidance counselor at their school was phoning it in. Not that Evan would ever say that. He wouldn’t even think it. He was a nice person. Although Jared once told him, “you’re nice in the Sondheim way. You don’t let yourself talk to anyone long enough to be mean- or to be anything, really.”

 

That was beside the point.

 

The point was that every time Evan had a panic attack, his teachers would send him to the guidance counselor, because they didn’t know what else to do. Of course, Evan’s psychiatrist had tried to switch him to a new anti-anxiety med that hadn’t worked, so he was having a lot of panic attacks for a while. He was getting better, though.

 

He tried to explain that to the guidance counselor on his next visit, but she just sighed.

 

“Evan, I feel like you don’t have enough resources,” she said. He could deal with this. After all, he was used to hearing it from Dr. Sherman. He nodded along. “After all, it seems disruptive that you come in here every time your anxiety’s bad.”

 

“I mean, I don’t want to bother you,” Evan said, “it’s, um, just that my teachers send me here. Sorry.” The apology came out before he even realized it. The guidance counselor just took it as a further example of the point she was trying to make. She was trying to make eye contact with him, so he fixed his gaze on a poster that said “how are you feeling?” with faces displaying various emotions.

 

“Evan, you’re not bothering me,” the guidance counselor said, “I’m just concerned with your education. So I’ve decided to try something out. I figured you could talk to one of your peers more easily than you could talk to me, so I think it would be good if you talked to Connor Murphy. Do you know him?”

 

“Uh, not well,” Evan said. He’d seen Connor around, but never had an in depth conversation. With good reason, too. Connor was well-known for his anger issues.

 

“Maybe I could give you some time to get to know each other and then we can go from there,” the guidance counselor said. She asked if he was able to stay after school on Friday and he couldn’t say no even though he really, really wanted to say no.

 

So he asked Jared if he could think of a way out of it.

 

“...Do you not see what’s happening here?” Jared asked. He almost seemed amused by Evan’s panic. He actually had paused his game and was facing Evan.

 

“What?”

 

“Connor has got to be the only person in her office more often than you,” Jared explained, “so if you two are hanging out, then you won’t be bothering her and she can get back to facebook stalking her exes.” Evan started to protest, but Jared cut him off with a knowing look. Even someone so intent on finding the good in people as Evan couldn’t deny that Jared had a point. So Evan opted to ignore what Jared was saying.

 

“What do I do, then?” Evan asked. He was staring intently at the hem of his shirt, wishing he could be anywhere else- in any other situation. Jared just laughed.

 

“Dude, you’re fucked,” Jared said.

 

“You need to help me,” Evan said.

 

“Why?”

 

“You’re my- family friend,” Evan said. A look flashed on Jared’s face that was a mix of pity and annoyance.

 

“Look,” Jared said, his tone a lot more soft than it had previously been, “if I knew some way to help you, I’d tell you.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Jared said, giving a genuine smile before immediately reverting to his usual sarcasm. “I mean, if you’re dead then I don’t know if my parents will pay for my car insurance.”


	2. Small victories

Evan’s plan of “hope for the sweet release of death before Friday” hadn't really worked out. So he went to the conference room as scheduled. Maybe it was just his anxiety (it was probably just his anxiety), but the fluorescent light seemed more intense than usual. It felt like an interrogation scene on one of those crime shows that would sometimes be on the TVs of various waiting rooms.

 

Evan tried to do that thing Dr. Sherman taught him. Analyzing the probability of each potential outcome of a stressful situation. It was supposed to remind him that things weren’t usually as bad as he made them out to be. Every time Evan tried it, though, it wound up being a list of all of the bad things that could happen. This time was no exception. By the time Connor entered the room, Evan was deeper in his own fears than he had been when school had let out. His mind was racing with all of the ways Connor would react.

 

Putting his arms around his head on the table and taking a nap was not one of the scenarios Evan had considered. Connor didn’t even acknowledge Evan. Evan took that as a win, since he was thinking that Connor would absolutely kick his ass. Still, the silence was really awkward and Evan couldn’t pull out his cell phone like a normal teenager would because his weird, off-brand cell phone didn’t get reception in the school. Instead, he decided to re-read the chapter of the textbook that he’d been assigned in his government class. The book was unnecessarily bulky for a one semester class. It hit the table harder than Evan had intended.

 

“What the Hell?” Connor groaned. He lifted his head at an angle that would be almost imperceptible had Evan not been hyper aware of Connor’s reaction.

 

“Sorry,” Evan said.

 

“I don't know what the fuck kind of point you’re trying to make,” Connor said, “but neither of us wants to be here so maybe chill out.”

 

“Oh. Okay. Sorry,” Evan said. He opened the book. He knew he’d be less likely to learn about congressional terms when all he could think about was how he managed to screw this up, just like everything else. Sure, Connor  _ seemed  _ like he wasn't bothered by Evan’s actions, but that didn't stop the part of Evan’s brain that screamed that he was an inconvenience to everyone.

 

Plus, this was Connor Murphy, who was infamous for throwing a printer at Mrs. G because she wouldn't let him be line leader. Granted, that was in second grade. Evan wondered if it was really fair that everyone judged Connor based on something he did when he was seven. Did people judge him based on whatever he did when he was seven? All of a sudden, he was remembering a series of awkward things he had done when he was seven.

 

“Dude, you okay?” Connor asked. He was actually looking up at Evan, although his elbows were still firmly planted on the conference room table.

 

“Wha- oh, um, yeah,” Evan said. Connor narrowed his eyes, obviously unsure of whether or not to call Evan on his bluff.

 

“Okay, because you were breathing kind of weird,” Connor said.

 

“Sorry,” Evan said. Connor looked like he wanted to say something about Evan’s apology but decided against it. He put his head back down and they continued in their solitary silence until Connor’s phone went off. Evan wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to be weird about it. He was weird about enough things already.

 

“Oh,” Connor said, noticing Evan’s expression, “I set an alarm for five minutes before we get out of here in case Sydney checks in on us again.”  Evan knew that Mrs. Royce wasn’t exactly the most loved member of the faculty, but he could tell by Connor’s use of her first name that he felt a special disdain towards her.

 

“That’s smart,” Evan said, “a- although, I don’t really think she will.”

 

“No,” Connor said, “that would involve doing her job. Then again, she does love to bitch at me, so who knows.” Evan gave a noncommittal shrug before starting to pack up. When 4 PM rolled around, Mrs. Royce opened the door to the conference room.

  
“I just wanted to check in even though I couldn’t be here. I had a conference with another student,” she said. She was no doubt ignoring the doubtful smirk on Connor’s face. “I’m going to check in with you both individually at some point soon, okay?” She didn’t wait for a response before leaving, so Connor and Evan wordlessly gathered their things and headed their separate ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So nameless guidance counselor finally has a name because I could only avoid naming her for so long. Also Connor's going to skew more towards the asshole side for a long while.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's short?


End file.
